How God Met Me in My Motherhood

Rheana Roose
Jul 19, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Jul 29, 2025

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

The Photo That Took Me Back

For a long time, I avoided looking at old photos.

They brought more heartache than joy—snapshots of moments that should’ve been sweet, but instead felt heavy. I’d scroll past pictures of myself and my kids from those early years and feel a lump rise in my throat. Because behind the smiles was a woman who was quietly breaking.

So when I recently came across this photo of my two oldest children, I braced myself for the same sorrow. And yes, it still stung—but something was different this time.

Because now? I don’t just see the pain.I see the grace that carried me through it.

When I Felt Alone

This photo was taken during a season when I was a single mom, doing my best to hold it all together. I was juggling parenting, provision, exhaustion, and expectations—feeling completely alone with no true friends at the time.

I claimed faith. I showed up to church. But deep down, I wasn’t walking with Christ. I was living in survival mode, not surrendered faith.

Motherhood was hard. Some days I lost my temper. Other days I cried after bedtime routines. And often, I felt like I was failing at the very thing I wanted most to get right.

Filling the Silence

Every other weekend when my children were away, I didn’t know how to sit in the quiet. So I filled the silence with noise—fake friends, late nights, drinks, distractions. I told myself I deserved to unwind, to feel alive again. But the truth was, I found myself feeling restless and aching, time and time again.

The party phase dulled the pain, but it didn’t heal it.

Behind the laughs and noise was a young woman craving peace, craving identity, craving God—but still unsure how to find Him.

When Everything Started to Shift

And then I met my husband.

It wasn’t a dramatic spiritual awakening overnight. But slowly, things began to change. I started staying home more. The party life didn’t call to me like it used to. I began craving peace over chaos, quiet over crowds.

We started attending church together—tentatively at first, but faithfully. And before long, we weren’t just going through the motions—we were seeking the Lord together.

There was something sacred about that.

Something steady.

Something healing.

Something alive.

God used that relationship to soften me. To stabilize me. To call me back to Him.

A New Kind of Growth

As I grew in my relationship with Jesus, I also grew in my parenting. I stopped parenting from a place of fear and started leading from a place of faith. I forgave myself for the mistakes I had made. I began to believe I wasn’t exempt from God's love—I was invited to walk in it.

And through it all, God was so faithful. So kind. So patient.

Now when I look at that photo?

I no longer just see pain or shame.

I see growth.

I see grace.

I see glory.

Most of all, I see a woman who survived a hard season—and a God who never left her side.

If You're Stuck in the Gaps

If you find you're in a similar place today—tired, unsure, stuck in survival mode—I want to speak this truth into you:

God sees you.

He hasn’t forgotten you.

He is near—especially in the gaps.

Motherhood, or even just being single, doesn’t have to be the thing that breaks you.

It can be the very place where God rebuilds you.

The Great Author of our Story

He’s not just the God of Sunday mornings.

He’s the God of sleepless nights, grocery store meltdowns, anxious thoughts, and whispered prayers.

He’s the God of second chances and slow healing.

The God who shows up even when we’ve wandered.

The God who gently calls us back—again and again.

And He is faithful.

Even here.

Something To Leave You With

There’s a song that has been such a tender anthem for this part of my journey: “Love Who I Am” by Allison Eide.

Every time I hear it, I’m reminded of the quiet redemption that took place in my heart—not all at once, but slowly, steadily, in the gaps. The lyrics speak to the girl I was, the mom I’ve become, and the God who never once gave up on me. It's a reminder that my worth was not found in who I hung out with or partying, it's found in Jesus.

If you’ve ever felt like your story was too messy or your past too heavy, I encourage you to give it a listen. Let it remind you—like it reminds me—that God doesn’t love some future, cleaned-up version of you.

He loves who you are—right here, right now.

And He’s not finished with your story yet.

If this post speaks to you, I’d be honored if you’d share it.

And if you’re walking through your own “gap” season, I’d love to pray for you. Just know this: healing is possible. Grace is real. And God is near. 💛